Those Who Love Gracefully
by InTheShadowOfSignificance
Summary: Because love is the endless, unconditional force behind everything they do, and have become. (Pegasus x Shizuka: Opticshipping)
1. Chance Of A Lifetime

* * *

**Those Who Love Gracefully**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, nor do I claim rights to any of the affiliated characters.

Warnings/Notes: Just another Pegasus centered story, the man is my muse, in case you haven't already noticed. Anyway, please enjoy and feel free to critique. I wasn't sure if this idea had already been used, but I didn't see this plot for an opticshipping story yet. Anyway, Shizuka is 19 and in her freshman year of college in this story. (Obviously AU and possibly OOC)

* * *

The clock beat out the rhythm of his life in flawless measures. Day after day, since the rise and fall of the world war his acquaintance so valiantly fought, his existence went unaltered. The hands moved in a routine motion, the cycle was one he slowly began to build his life around, before he was free-spirited, and dismissed such conformity from his thoughts, but now, now things that fell into place seemed ordinary, almost eerily serene. He saw no sense in lashing out against a lifeless criminal.

The business of his company skyrocketed with the end of the charade and the disappearance of little Yugi. (Though the boy had tried to move on as though Atem was right there in his heart, human nature would not allow him to be subject to such easy acceptance.) He grieved in secrecy.

It was a month into the cruel and unrelenting aftermath that Pegasus's acquired taste for wine left him, for the first time in years he awoke to a glass of water, and it felt good. Part of him knew he couldn't fight the contemporary lifestyle he was falling victim to, and the smaller part of him didn't want to. Employees came and went, cartoons began and ended, for the first time in his life, he thought nothing of simple pleasures. He wanted to mourn such loss like little Yugi, but in his wasted youth, he had done plenty of that. Time went on as it always did and he gradually learned to accept it.

It was only when she came rushing into the fray that things began to change.

* * *

The sky was overcast and snow was gently drifting onto the ground in a cliched manor. Through his window he admired the imagery. The pool was glossed over in a thin, sleek sheet of ice, at the thought a smile played on his lips. He hadn't bothered to have someone cover it during the winter months for years now. He paused in his reflection to think for a moment…what day was it? His brows knitted together in thought briefly before it occurred to him, December the 22nd.

His pale hand left the windowsill and he turned away from the glass, in which his troubled reflection awaited him. He swung the door to his master bedroom open and ventured out into the corridors of his less-than-humble-abode, the aroma of gingerbread arousing his senses.

He watched from the stairwell as he walked it. His servants were much more cheerful around the holidays, humming seasonal songs under their breath as they worked. His feet connected with the ground beneath them at the bottom of the flight and he moved to the kitchen, where a cup of cocoa awaited him. He was a child at heart, after all.

"Sleep well?" A maid to his right quietly inquired, glancing out the window behind him.

He nodded through a sip of the steamy beverage, "And yourself?"

She shrugged, "I'm just excited for the holidays." He smiled at the response and sipped once more. It was another ordinary day, no new threat was going to arise, no emergency call from Yugi or Kaiba-boy would be made, it was just…Monday.

Temptation plagued at his mind, part of him longed to find something to occupy his time but what could he really do aside from set himself up for disaster? Stores and streets would be crazy, resorts packed, and dueling tournaments a waste of time. He sighed and rose from the table at the exclamation of his name. _Oh joy another modern-day-tragedy. _He sarcastically noted to himself as he entered the room adjacent to him.

"What's the matter Croquet?" He asked of the man who stood looking out one of the windows in the sitting room.

"You should've told me sooner Master Pegasus!" He exclaimed, almost apologetically, "I didn't realize you'd invited anyone over!"

"What are you going on about?" The silver hared man demanded of his employee as he moved to stand beside him in front of the window. Confusion filtered into his mind; "There's no one outside." He stated flatly, his heart sinking in disappointment for a moment.

"Then, you weren't expecting anyone?" Croquet questioned as his master moved a comfortable distance away from him.

"No." Pegasus replied, his tones laced subtly with annoyance.

"There was just a phone call for you from a young woman, she said something about wanting to speak with you, I thought that maybe…since she didn't mention business, well that's to say…when I asked her-"

"You're babbling." Pegasus cut in, holding his hand out in a silent demand for the portable phone.

Paling, Croquet handed it to him, "The number should still be listed sir, I'm sorry, I hadn't realized, I mean if I'd have known you were up I'd have-"

"For god sakes man it's nearly Christmas, relax." He chided halfheartedly as he clicked to re-dial the number of his last received call. The person to answer caught him by surprise.

Her soft and clearly flustered voice sang into the phone receiver in between short and stifled breaths, "Hello?"

"Hello, I'm very sorry to have bothered you Ms. Kawaii but I was just returning your phone call." He replied in his usual cheery tone, which had returned to him fairly easily.

"There's no need to be so formal Mr. Crawford, please, call me Shizuka." She responded, a smile in her voice, the man swallowed, he hadn't been able to sense something that vivid since…. He dismissed such thoughts from his mind quickly, _it's nearly Christmas_, he reminded himself, _it's no time to be dwelling on the past_.

"Very well." He replied after a moment's pause, "What can I do for you, Shizuka?" He inquired.

"Well you see Mr. Crawford I'm currently working evenings as a reporter for the Osaka Review and I was wondering…" She trailed off, suddenly feeling pushy and imprudent.

"If you could possibly get an interview before the Christmas holiday?" He finished as he moved into the kitchen to search for his previously abandoned cocoa.

"Yes." There was relief in her voice behind the nervousness that was still present; subconsciously Pegasus laughed at her uneasiness, and his ability to read it. Meanwhile, in Japan, Shizuka sat sheepishly at the desk in her living room, tapping her pen against a stack of messily compiled papers.

"I don't personally have a problem with it, as long as you'll be quoting me accurately of course." He replied as he sat down to the beverage and took it in hand.

"Of course Mr. Crawford." She hurriedly assured him as she fought back her excitement. For weeks her co-workers had been trying to get a hold of a Mr. Pegasus Crawford in America and were never able to get through, she was glad she had decided to call from her cell phone instead of her work phone.

"Before we begin-" He paused to sip his cocoa, "I'm curious as to why you're still in your office at half passed midnight."

She blushed slightly in embarrassment before replying, "To be completely honest I'm currently at home." She replied.

"To be that dedicated to your work-" he clicked his tongue half-fondly, "You remind me of your brother."

"Thank you." She replied, smiling softly as she gathered a few things and moved them to a corner of her workspace.

"In any case, we have some business to attend to whenever you're ready." He thought about telling her to call him Pegasus if he was to call her Shizuka, but such seemed informal during an interview from both ends of the spectrum.

For a moment Shizuka, in her confusion, did not reply, "Oh!" She at last proclaimed, "I'm so sorry." She gushed apologetically, "I initially intended to do the interview in person." She informed him, part of her felt, after she had said otherwise, that she should've grabbed her questions and just interviewed him over the phone, as now she was sure to seem arrogant and forceful.

"Well…" Pegasus trailed off, not knowing exactly what to say to the young woman's silence. "I don't have any real plans, however a flight to San Francisco would take you a full day and night. Being that it's the 23rd in Japan you'd be lucky to land here Christmas Eve and I'm sure such would be unacceptable."

"If you'd have me I could make it work." She informed him confidently.

"Ms. Kawaii I fail to comprehend your logic." He replied, smiling at her enthusiasm as memories of her dear brother came to mind, "Your place of employment will be closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at least, the interview would be worthless to you by then."

"I'll leave a message for my boss to get in the morning, we've been trying to get this story since the beginning of the month and I know four others that'd put in any amount of time over the holiday to get this issue out." She reassured him with a faith instilled in her that he felt guilty dismembering.

"And just how would your family feel about this decision?" He inquired as he rested his head in his free hand.

"My brother supports me in everything I do." She informed him happily.

He laughed audibly, "And what about your parents?"

She sighed, "Mr. Crawford. This interview would mean everything to me; I'll do whatever I have to if it's convenient for you. The last flight to San Francisco leaves at 6:00 am and if you agree to this I intend to be on it."

He smiled, she was young and reckless as he had been when her age. On top of that she was a true journalist at heart, nothing was going to stop her from eventually getting what she wanted, and he knew that. Despite his reservations he opened his mouth to reply.

"And should I agree to this little meeting would you want to bring Jonouchi-boy along in the event that you're kept here until after Christmas day? The snow coming down is bound to cause plane delays."

"No." He sensed guilt rising in her voice, "I'd love to be with Jonouchi on time this Christmas but I want this interview to be as professional as possible with nothing getting in the way of it. Besides, he's spending the 24th through the 27th with his friends and my father, bringing something like this up would only cause chaos." She didn't know why she'd told him half of her current life story, or why it'd been so easy to do so, all that was really clear was the desperation for his confirmation.

If she was this determined he felt guilty not giving her a shot at pulling it off. He knew she'd probably just be setting herself up for disappointment, and in taking part in such, he felt guilty, but life would get her down plenty in years to come, and she had to start preparing some day.

"Well then Mr. Kawaii…." His words hung heavily in the air, "You have yourself an interview."

* * *

AN: I'm sorry if this was OOC, since it was AU I really wanted to show Shizuka's implied determination in the series and applying it to journalism worked out fairly well for his story. I know the name of the newspaper is lame, I was drawing a major blank. Please review, feel free to critique.


	2. Smiles In The Face Of Sadness

**Smiles In The Face Of Sadness**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, nor do I claim rights to any of the affiliated characters.

Warnings/Notes: Thanks a lot for the feedback, I needed it. Expect some potential OOC scenes. I didn't have time to edit this chapter as much as I did the last (which took me months to get just how I wanted it) I read over this three times but I don't normally catch my own mistakes, so I can't guarantee grammatical perfection. Let's see...oh, the scenarios in the chapter may seem a bit, cliched, convenient, etc. but they played off the mood well, so, I did what I had to do, hopefully it hasn't lost its appeal.

* * *

She spent the next few hours getting through airport security with her duffel bag containing three outfits, a jacket, and the necessities for the interview. It was only after she boarded the plane and sat in one of the many available window seats that she realized that this would be her first flight without Jonouchi. She thought of her brother as she fastened her seat belt, not bothering to look around at any of the other passengers until after the pilot had announced that they were clear for take off. There were 18 people on the flight that was originally intended to seat 100, scattered about like stray dogs on the street, looking tired and out of place.

Gripping the fabric of her jeans firmly as the plane began to move she caught a quick smile from the flight attendant. Apprehension built within her until they were in the air, from then on there were two things on her mind. What this would mean for her if it all worked out; and how disappointed she'd be if it meant rearranging her plans for Christmas with Jonouchi.

She would have no more conscious worries until thirteen hours, a nap, and two unexpected landings later, upon arriving in San Francisco, in America, for the first time in her life.

* * *

It was nearly ten, all was pitch black and had been for hours, yet, it did not feel like day's end. Only when his servants began to come to him, asking to turn in for the night, did he realize how late it had gotten.

As he gave his employees permission to retire to bed he left his office to do so himself. Leisurely he pulled up an internet tab and immediately directed his attention to his inbox, which in bold-faced print read: 3 new messages.

Scrolling down to read them he disregarded those from people pinning for his attention and investment, leaving just one that he did not recognize. It was from a Japanese mailing address and was headed "no subject," immediately a thought occurred to him. _It couldn't be…._ He clicked to investigate, and pulled up a document, which held the most interesting words he'd read in years.

_Arrived in San Francisco._

He smiled and sat up a bit more comfortably in bed. Then, not understanding why she felt the need to inform him of such, he began to reply.

_I trust you made it safely? _

What surprised him even more than her first message was the time it took her to write the second.

_Yes, thank you._

For a moment he contemplated whether or not it'd be best to reply, and then, realizing that she would not have emailed him for no reason, he did so.

_How was it you got this email address?_

A few minutes later the question was answered in just two words.

_Your website._

He smiled knowingly and stretched, fatigue beginning to settle in.

_Well then, I'll let you get some rest._

She was hesitant to type back this time, for it took longer for this message to come then it had those that proceeded it. 'All right' it said.

_You haven't found a hotel room, have you?_

Within moments, she responded.

…_no, not yet._

He laughed aloud without meaning to; she was certainly more humble than her brother was. Slowly he cleared his throat and began typing his reply, in which he gave her directions to his estate, and left his phone number for her once again, in case she had any problems getting there. He was sure to add that he could have someone pick her up from wherever she currently was so as to avoid the trouble altogether, but she would have none of it. What he'd done for her, she'd said, was already much more than enough.

It was only an hour later, when she stood facing him from beyond the door, that he realized she was referring not only to the interview, but to the money that had paid for her eye operation so many years ago.

"Ms. Kawaii!" He exclaimed at the sight of her, "Do come in." He instructed as he moved out of her way and gestured for her to enter. Thanking him quietly she moved inside, attempting to take in all of the elegance that now surrounded her.

"I can't thank you enough for all this." She replied.

"Think nothing of it, I still owe your big brother for the little mishap at Duelist Kingdom, and it _is_ only an interview." He stressed as he motioned for her to follow him. When he first offered to allow her to stay with him she felt uneasy, but now, having met him, the thought seemed ridiculous.

"It was such a hard interview to acquire though, why is it you never accepted the offers from any of the other callers?" Her voice was calm and serene, unlike it had been over the phone, unlike it had to be for work.

"Well, I do have others that answer the phone, Industrial Illusions is a big company and if I answered every phone call I wouldn't have time for anything else, and that's with half the people on hold." They both laughed slightly as he opened the door to her room and turned on the light. "I get a lot of calls about interviews, for magazines, newspapers, television, but again, who has time for all of them? My employees are often instructed to just hang up when receiving those types of calls."

"Often?" She questioned softly as she gazed about her room with wonder.

"Of course there are exceptions, when I feel in the mood to do interviews, I do. If they're good for business, of course, and if I have nothing better to do, well then, why not? Otherwise there's just no real need for it. "

"I see." She replied, internally she felt ignorant and out of place, any moron could understand all of these things without having to ask. She swallowed a bit, not physically letting on her disappointment with herself, and yet not feeling as though it'd gone unnoticed.

"There's an outlet by the end table for you to charge your laptop, and extra blankets on the shelf in the closet. If you need anything else just ask someone wandering around, they'll get it for you."

"Thank you." In the anxiousness of the moment she took no notice of him addressing her formally.

There seemed to be nothing left to say, she smiled softly and he took his leave. For the rest of the night the two were separated by just a few walls and winding stairwells. It seemed so surreal to Shizuka that she often had to remind herself to breathe. This was what she'd been hoping for since the beginning of December, and finally, in a few hours, it would happen.

She fell asleep to the sound of hushed chatter outside the walls of her room; it reminded her of her father's house, of her brother. She missed their late night conversations about nothing in particular…. In the moments of bitter nostalgia before sleep overcame her she buried her face into the pillow and, in time, forgot the world.

* * *

When she awoke, American time said it was seven am, though to her it didn't feel it. She shuffled to the bathroom after throwing on some clothes, and then moved back to the room Pegasus had shown her to the night before. Having not bothered to bring her straightener she withdrew a brush and hair-tie from her bag and tossed her waterfall curls into a quick, presentable, bun.

Fully expecting Pegasus to be asleep she ventured out of the room once more and traced her hand along the walls as she walked, arriving soon at the French doors that had previously allowed her entrance into the castle. She gazed upon them half-fondly, upon being here over night, though she missed her brother terribly, she dreaded the thought of returning home. "Home" to the chaotic house that smelled of her soon-to-be-step-father's cologne or of her father's whiskey, "home" to what would only be Christmas on one of two occasions, with Jonouchi.

"Ms. Kawaii." In the back of her mind she heard his voice penetrate her thoughts, but it was too soft to push through the multitude of emotions that'd come rushing back to her. "Ms. Kawaii…?" The second time his voice, cheery but not forced, pierced through her realm of solemn reflection and brought her back to present reality.

"I'm sorry." She muttered apologetically as she turned to face him, "I was a bit spaced out."

"It's all right, it's much too early to be fully awake anyway." He replied, offering her a bit of empathy. "Would you care to join me for breakfast?" The invitation was casual, professional, and she both trusted and respected him for not crossing into any other territory.

"Sure." She obliged halfheartedly (in a manor, which would've seemed completely sincere to anyone other than the man she was facing.)

"Was there something you needed to attend to beforehand?" He inquired, sensing her hesitance and attempting to justify it in a way that wouldn't make the young woman feel any more out of place than she already seemed to.

"Yes actually." She thought then to check her laptop to see if she'd gotten any sort of response from her boss. "It should only take a minute…" She trailed off, unsure if putting her own agenda before her host's would be ungrateful after he'd just shown her such hospitality.

"Take your time." He encouraged as he turned in the opposite direction to head for the dining hall, "When you're ready just ask someone to show you to the dining room." She was glad that he seemed so understanding.

Calling a 'thank you' over her shoulder she moved to her room and shut the door behind her. Turning on her laptop and waiting for her settings to load she tapped her foot against the carpeted floorboards impatiently. When at last she pulled up an internet tab she found she had one unread message, as to be expected, it was from her boss.

_Shizuka,_

_I'm thrilled that you were able to get the interview and that you're taking this internship so seriously, however, I'm not sure we can squeeze out an issue on time for the holiday. Nagisa has said she'll put in some time to see that we pull through somehow but we'll need more than just her. All of us here appreciate the personal sacrifices you've made in order to come through for us, and on time or not, we will include the interview in the next issue of the paper. If possible, ask some backup questions that aren't as related to the season at hand. Don't reply to this immediately if you have more pressing matters to attend to, but I'd like to see about putting you to work more permanently. (We'll discuss this further when you arrive back in Japan.)_

_Happy Holidays,_

_Ushio_

Something inside of her slipped out of place and she bit her lip hard to keep from squealing as loud as she originally would have. They were really going to try and get the interview out on time for _her_. They were actually beginning to notice _her_, and her boss was offering an actual job to _her_. In that moment she knew for certain that there was nothing more Mr. Pegasus Crawford could possibly do to further impact her life.

Closing her laptop with a girlish grin she headed out into the halls, where a nearby maid willingly showed her to the dining room. "Can I get you anything miss?" She asked as Shizuka quietly took a seat a few places to the right of Pegasus, who sat at the head of the table.

"No thank you, anything I could possibly want is right here." The redhead replied gratefully.

"Coffee?" Pegasus offered as he helped himself to his second cup (normally he wouldn't be out of bed until after three…)

"No thank you." She politely declined, "Too bitter." She added as she reached for some orange juice and a piece of toast.

"When was it you said you wanted to do the interview?" He asked as she took a bite.

"Your earliest convenience." She replied once her mouth was no longer full. Though she wanted to she refused to come right out and say, "once we've finished eating."

"I've got plenty of time after breakfast." Part of him hoped he wasn't portraying his eagerness for her to leave, as it wasn't as sincere as he liked to think. Yet looking at her, with her wavy hair tightly confined, he saw Cyndia, and could, at some moments, scarcely breathe, nor stand to look at her. She was quiet, shy, reserved; everything that reminded him of how_ she _used to be in their youth. He'd miss her company just as much as he'd resented it.

"That's great." Shizuka happily replied, being equally as eager to start the interview, though for reasons all her own.

And so, after they'd had breakfast and gathered into an appropriate room, they began. Shizuka, with her pen in hand, was sure to alter some of the questions to leave out seasonal details that may or may not be significant. "What was it that first inspired you to create Duel Monsters?"

Pegasus thought for a moment about how much detail he felt comfortable letting go public, "A trip to Egypt." He answered.

"Was there anything specific that sparked your creativity while there?"

"Some ancient hieroglyphics that locals brought to my attention." He wouldn't disclose any information he thought Shadi would disapprove of.

"Were you shocked by the eventual success of the game?" She continued.

"Initially yes, though I'd always known in the back of my mind that its creation would be one of my greatest achievements."

"Does any level of the game's complexity relate to personal experience?"

She was touching a bit of a nerve with that one, "Not on any significant level. Of course there has to be some reliability factor in a game and it's pieces, or in this case cards, however it wouldn't be much of a success had I let my interests or experiences overtake it." She nodded at the response as she took her time writing it, being sure to quote him exactly. The image of her in comparison to his wife was gone; she sat before him as a journalist, with no regard for the feelings her questions would stir within him. She was now the same as all of the others who came to him with a job to do and the means to complete it. Had she not been different from them beneath the surface, had he not known better than to group her with all the others of her profession, it would have been quite easy to see her stay with him longer.

But…there was something about Kawaii Shizuka….

"Mr. Crawford?" Her voice filtered into his thoughts.

"Sorry." He felt no need to elaborate as long as she repeated her question.

"How has your partnership with Kaiba Corporation impacted the game of Duel Monsters?"

"Simple, I create the cards that are meaningless without his new technology, and he creates the latest technology that'd be nothing if not for my cards, or their inspiration. What's good for business is good for business." He explained.

"What would you say is the greatest reward that comes with having invented the game?"

He laughed slightly, "The greatest reward, well I must say that's a new one. I suppose I'd have to say the impact it's had on society. What was meant to start out as a game has become very serious to many people, and to myself, today a lot more rides on luck of the draw than even politics." The allusion was one Shizuka seemed to like, for she smiled excitedly as she scribbled down the response.

"All right Mr. Crawford, I think that's it." She informed him as she stretched in her chair a bit. Then, on a more personal note added, "I'm attempting to book a flight for either today or tomorrow but I'm not having much luck." She laughed slightly, "It's just that time of year I guess." The fear that came when taking off without her brother beside her rose and settled in her stomach.

"You can stay as long as you need." He generously offered, though he knew it'd be better for the two of them if she left earlier, he didn't have the heart to hurry her off. "I can always have you flown back to Japan in one of my private jets." Even when mentioning lavishes the man was humble.

She didn't want to seem excited to leave, most of her wasn't, but she so wanted to be with Jonouchi…. "I'd get to spend time with Jono as planned." She mused in hushed tones, wishing she could better read the man that sat across from her. "But I'd hate to trouble you like that…"

"It's no trouble." He assured her. "Really."

The part of her that wanted to stay played at her nerves until she thought she would break, reminding her of the tragedies that were previous Christmases with her mother. As she began to force such thoughts from her mind her cell phone vibrated in her pocket for the fourth time since her arrival. She didn't have to go to her mother's for Christmas, she had her own place now, and could spend the holiday much happier on her own…but she felt so guilty. For the first time since the previous night, she excused herself, and answered the phone.

"Hello." Pegasus had to keep himself from wincing at the forced tone of voice she used. Whoever she was speaking to was surely on bad terms with her. "It was for work." She said softly, silence for a few moments, then, "Mom now is not the time." He could tell she was fighting with the outburst of anger and resentment building within her, "It doesn't matter, I won't be back on time for Christmas." Something within him dropped at the sound of those words and Shizuka's throat grew dry. "Well if I'm lying you'll find out soon enough, won't you?" In her anger she hung up the phone and turned it off without another word.

'You're just saying that so you can skip out on Christmas…why is it your so jealous of Akio?' She wasn't jealous of anyone, especially not the bastard her mother was now planning to marry. 'After all I've done for you…' she hadn't done a thing, Jonouchi was the only one that'd ever fought for her.

Shaking with rage and tears that were beginning to form behind her eyes she rose from her seat and moved to go back to her room. "Ms. Kawaii…"

"I'm really sorry about this." He had no idea why it pained him to hear her voice crack.

"Shizuka." The firmness of his voice surprised even himself. "You don't have to leave before you're ready." He continued; he questioned his own wisdom.

"I've taken up enough of your time already, besides, it's better if I work through this on my own." He wanted to argue that crying alone would solve nothing, but did not. She needed space and a little freedom to just get her emotions out. "Would it…" She trailed off, her emotions closer to the surface than she realized.

"I told you before." He reminded her, "You can stay as long as you need."

She stood, rooted to the ground where she'd stopped in the archway to the next room, wanting more than she had most all things in her life, to just break down and cry to him. But she could not, she was here for business and would regret it later, she regretted even letting him see her like this. She didn't know him. How could she be so comfortable with someone she didn't know?

As he sensed her internal conflict he battled with his own, soon the company he had so strongly desired would be gone, leaving him alone to think of Cyndia with no ironic similarities to note, no smiles from another to give him something to look at. Soon she would be in San Francisco, a memory he had the opportunity, but not ability, to wish away, and he would be alone here, with despair weighing almost as heavily as the regret on his tongue.

"Tears don't become you, Ms. Kawaii." She could've sworn she felt his warm breath against the nape of her neck, and turned abruptly to face him, tears streaming triumphantly down her cheeks. Her eyes widened slightly, he hadn't moved.

She wanted to cry what was left of the droplets onto the fabric of his shirt, but did not. She wiped them on her hand and smiled, "You're right." She said with a small smile, it was foolish of her to have such thoughts about someone she had no real feelings for.

"Come on." He called as he moved passed her, "We'll have some cocoa." And without a word or second thought to discourage her from doing so, she followed him.

He was sure then what it was about her that reminded him of Cyndia. He sat down to a cup, and she did the same, positioning herself across from him.

All women who knew the strength of smiling in the face of sadness were simply _exquisite._

* * *

**AN:** And so ends the second chapter, please review with feedback and critique if you have any.


	3. Conversational Findings

**Chapter 3: Conversational Findings**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, nor do I claim rights to any of the affiliated characters.

Warnings/Notes: Special thanks to all of my reviewers for the feedback and compliments, you guys are great and I really appreciate your patience and support. Expect some potentially OOC scenes and spelling/grammatical errors.

* * *

There were no words to describe the conscious feeling of contentment that overcame him as he watched her eyes return to their normal olive color, irises shining vividly against the white. The last traces of her tears were finally gone, chased away by the mild sweetness of her peppermint tea. Shizuka was not fond of hot chocolate, at least, that's what she'd said. However, Pegasus knew enough to understand that the sweet medley on her tongue reminded her too strongly of childhood to be allowed past her lips. Her defense mechanisms were almost telling enough to portray her life's story.

"When was it you said you wanted to leave?" The serenity of the atmosphere seemed uninterrupted by his question.

"I'm not entirely sure yet." She replied, snow had begun to fall again, in mounds of white against the dying branches of the trees outside his window. The frailness of the scene was captured so perfectly within the frame that it's design seemed to have been chosen for such an occasion. Upon catching his gaze the thought did not seem so irrational.

The harsh way the wind blew the crystals across the sky in Japan was almost distracting to watch, but there was beauty in the gentle drift of San Francisco. Here she didn't feel as anxious to wish the winter months away.

"You realize I'll still make good on my offer to fly Jonouchi-boy up here to be with you." He continued, it resounded with irony, in her ears as a silence, the lack of an indication for her to stay, or to go.

Clinging to his words in tightened tension she reminded herself to breathe. Speaking without thinking was an impulse she wished she'd never have acquired, "Jonouchi has separate plans until the 27th, I wouldn't interrupt them for anything." She was politely adamant, more to prove the point to herself than to her companion. The thought that occurred to her was one she dared not speak aloud…she didn't want to go home to her mother…and yet….

"Well it's currently the 24th in Osaka." He sipped at his cocoa, "If the accommodations here are awkward for you I can-"

"That's not it at all!" She interrupted a bit more abruptly than she'd meant to. "I was just…caught up in thought; anyway it'd probably be best for me to leave as soon as possible. I don't want to have wasted your time and the more I can work on this issue the better."

He leaned in a bit closer to her, supporting his weight on hands he'd folded together and tucked beneath his chin, all at once he was consumed…. It was, in a sense, foreign, it's familiarity diluted in the sweet scent of her perfume; but still he recognized it, a subtle yet urgent indication to feel. For a split second their eyes locked and he saw completely through her, into her childhood and beyond, her stained-glass smile holding together the fragmented memories lingering within the creases on her lips.

"At least tell me what it is you're attempting to run away from." Upon looking into her eyes for the second time in a mere hour he straightened himself in his chair and narrowed his gaze. In that moment moisture stirred within her eyes and he smelt roses on her stifled breaths.

"Forgive me." He spoke up when his nostalgia had come and gone, "I was completely out of line."

She wanted to stop his apology, negate it with one of her own and let the tension swallow it, but she did not, what was she supposed to say to the man? I'm _glad_ you forced me to deal with this; I'm sorry I brought you into it…how utterly pathetic.

"You know, when my brother told me you had the ability to read minds…well I thought it was just another one of his crazy misconceptions…but…."

"Reading minds is not so much an ability as it is a test; both a blessing and a curse. Most of it isn't rocket science, and the rest, well that's just complicated." He laughed a bit dryly, "I'm sure your dear brother has taken the liberty of informing you about the chaos that unfolded in the face of such a phenomenon."

Shizuka laughed, "No, he hasn't really said much about what happened in Duelist Kingdom. A lot of what he did seemed like a fairy tale." She replied.

"Oh really." For a moment he was hopelessly intrigued by her, what she knew, her perception of the situation, of him, in that moment he lost track of all thoughts of worry, and allowed only her nervous mannerisms to bring him back to reality. "So he's told you much of what's happened and you're a bit skeptical?" He inquired.

Hesitantly she shook her head no, "I have a lot of trust in everything my brother tells me, but I can read him better than anyone else. I know when he's embellishing, when he's trying to make someone out to be worse than they are to hide what he's been through. He can't fool me, and so when he explained what happened, even though I couldn't fully understand everything involving you, who you were, why you went to such lengths for the sake of something that I saw as trivial, I wanted to remain neutral. I try not to let family relationships interfere with my judgement of other people, especially when I'm speaking with no life experience to back me up."

He stared at her for a long second, impressed with both her maturity and articulacy. Unlike her brother, who interrupted his own thoughts frequently in frustration, Shizuka knew where she stood and did not falter. She was confident in her assumptions even if they were wrong or impulsive. Being just as forgiving as her brother, if not more so, made her admirable, and though she was shy, she was easily equally as outspoken, the difference was in their self-esteem and Pegasus had always known that.

"Honestly." He said, shaking his head and sipping at his cocoa, "You've got to be one of the most accepting, down-to-earth teenagers I've ever encountered."

At this she blushed softly in embarrassment and looked down into her cup of tea for a moment, "If you knew me a little better you'd see me as impulsive and fanciful."

"You're young, such is only natural isn't it? How many girls you age would deny themselves the motive to hold a grudge against a man in my position?"

She sighed in understanding, "I suppose with that way of thinking I've become an exception to the rule."

"Be that as it may, my psychoanalysis of you doesn't seem to be creating a pleasant atmosphere. Is there anything else I can help you accomplish while I still have you?"

For a moment she sought to find anything that might give the newest issue more of an edge, she thought about asking him if he'd like her to manipulate the layout for such a special occasion, but decided against it. Style was one thing that should never change in journalism.

"Not that I can think of." She replied after a few moments of contemplation. Then, seemingly upon further mulling over the thought, she added: "Unless you'd like me to add something specific to the interview: an announcement, advertisement…even a specific headline you find suitable is fine."

Pegasus shook his head; "I'll leave the reporting to you." He told her with a small smile, "However; should you think of anything else you'd like to know, please don't hesitate to ask." At this he pushed his hot chocolate aside, bored with both its subtle warmth and overpowering sweetness.

"Well, now that you mention, I was curios about one more thing, although it's not related to Duel Monsters."

"By all means." Pegasus coaxed, anticipating some sort of inquiry about his relationship with her brother or one of his companions.

"My brother once told me that you were a painter." She began, a light stirring in her eyes as she saw those of the man across from her widen considerably.

"And how, pray tell, would he know that?" Her elder asked a bit of an edge lingering in his tone.

"I'm…not exactly sure." It was the first time he'd seen her stumble over herself in response to something he himself had said. "I just thought…" But Pegasus held up a hand, there was no need for the girl to continue.

"I'm not willing to disclose any information on the subject publicly or privately, the fact that your brother knows even that much about something he should not is upsetting." He watched her expression dissolve into one of apprehension and sorrow, immediately he knew that she felt she'd gotten her brother into some sort of trouble, and through his anger, attempted to calm himself for her sake. "I'd appreciate if you'd keep anything Jonouchi told you regarding my personal life to yourself."

"B-but I think you misunderstood me, he didn't, Jono didn't…say…."

As he listened to her thoughts interrupt themselves in a frenzied frustration the extent of his anger died down; "He didn't say anything else?" He provided for her. The young girl shook her head to confirm what he'd assumed. Internally he sighed, though she was strong-willed, she was still just a child, and very protective of the only real family she had. It hadn't been his intention to upset her, but nevertheless, it seemed he had.

"Ms. Kawaii, this whole mess was my fault, I overreacted and for that I apologize." He spoke to her in a gentle manor; still, she seemed deeply unnerved. "Ms. Kawaii, Ms. Kawaii, what's the matter?"

"I just…I really…" But she stopped, whether she couldn't find the words to explain, or the composure to, was something Pegasus had yet to find out. "I'm really sorry for any trouble Jono or I may have caused you." She then began once more, her voice trembling, but sincere, "I know I can't just rush off and expect any of this to go away but I want you to know that Jono honestly didn't tell me about anything other than your hobby. I'm sorry that I brought something like that up without thinking, it's not that I wanted to pry, it was more of an observation and I, please don't be angry with Jonouchi…I know he'd never-"

"Ms. Kawaii you're getting beside yourself for nothing." He assured her, "I misjudged you and once again I apologize. It was wrong of me to jump to conclusions, I know Jonouchi-boy didn't maliciously tell you or anyone else about something personal pertaining to me." He explained, "There's no need for you to get upset or to feel you've done something wrong, I won't mention this conversation to anyone and we'll just pretend it never happened."

Though she understood that the issue had, ideally, been resolved, to her it was still ongoing, another critical mistake to etch alongside the rest of those forever held within the confines of her memory. She thought herself melodramatic for being so pessimistic but, in the same respect, couldn't help herself. She didn't know whether it was best for her to just wait out Christmas with her mother or to face it where she could be no more trouble for someone who'd only ever given her the means to help herself. She remembered making a vow to herself a long time ago to never be so needy again, as this state of mind, in her eyes, was pathetic. And yet despite herself…she felt worn down, out of place, alone. For a moment she saw only a hospital room and heard her mother's voice from beyond the door, a voice that held no emotion, and a woman that barely cared.

Everywhere she went she had this unrelenting feeling of worthlessness. Every time she felt she'd done something right, saving Jonouchi, going off to college, taking control, she was merely passing in the shadow of significance. She looked at the man across from her, merely at him and not into him, as empathy was not truly her gift in the same sense that it was his, and sought what set her apart from him. Why he would always be successful while she would never be, and then, metaphorically, it came to her. Internally, she was like the snow, melting under the heat of a warm spring sun, making people realize their problems and face them while she had enough power to hold them over their heads, whereas Pegasus…. Pegasus was like the wind, he could make a person feel warm or cold, touch their hearts with bitterness, or with nostalgia, he was elusive enough to be truly unseen by the world, and yet powerful enough to influence it without having to be.

In her mind, she would never be successful because she was not strong enough, no matter how hard she tried or pretended to be, she was not emotionally in tact, in reality, she didn't even know the meaning of the words.

"Shizuka." At last, upon rising from his chair and gently but firmly grasping her shoulders, he'd gotten through to her, "Are you alright?" He inquired. She nodded mechanically, without any thought, she wasn't sure how long she'd been just sitting there staring off into space, probably a while to make someone worry about her like that.

"I'm fine, I think it's just all this change of pace." She assured him with a smile, slowly she felt the worst part of her low dissipate under the weight of his hands as they were lifted from her.

"I think you should go lay down for a while." He instructed as he moved a comfortable distance away from where she was still seated at the table. "You'll feel better once you've just taken some time to yourself." He put in before she could protest, and without any further thoughts of arguing she moved to get up. Christmas was almost upon her and there was no sense in spending it miserable. She was determined to stay away from her mother's, no matter what it meant for her, being alone was better than being in bad company.

"I really appreciate all this." She told him whole-heartedly, turning around to face him from where she stood and looking at him as if she'd just done him some great injustice.

"Think nothing of it." He replied in a cheery tone, as such was his way.

"Mr. Crawford, would it be alright if I looked around outside?"

"What ever for?" He asked her with a bout of hearty laughter.

"I love the way the outdoors look after it's just snowed." She informed him rather sheepishly.

"If you're feeling up to it go right ahead." He encouraged, and then, catching a glimpse of what she held at her side he went on to ask, "Is that a notebook or a _sketch_book?"

She froze at his inquiry and glanced down to the uncovered keepsake in question, "Originally a sketchbook." She informed him folding the cover back over it to prove such. "But there's nothing visually artistic in th-" Before she could finish her statement he casually slid it out of her hand and began to flip through it, stopping a few pages in and folding back the ones she'd neatly scribbled notes on.

"Mr. Crawford." She hissed desperately, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't do that, the things in there aren't even my own-" But his gaze cut her off, slowly the edges of his lips curved and the anxiety mounting in the young girl's chest became pleasantly mild and uplifting. Subconsciously awaiting disapproval she found his praise in the most peculiar of statements.

"Lying doesn't become you, Shizuka."

* * *

**AN:** Another chapter is here and gone, I apologize if the ending to this one was a let down. Upon first finishing the chapter I really liked the way it turned out, now that I've worked and re-worked it so much it just seems all mutilated. It's taken me weeks to get it to turn out and I'm still not sure I'm happy with the end result, any way, please feel free to review, critique, and rant.


	4. Speaking Of Courage

**Chapter 4: Speaking Of Courage**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, nor do I claim rights to any of the affiliated characters.

Warning/Notes: Sorry the update took so long, I've been working on a few other updates and junior year AP classes are kicking my ass. (Please excuse the French)

_Italics_ are used for work emphasis and to represent the thoughts of the characters.

* * *

Narrowing her eyes in embarrassment she anxiously awaited his judgement. But upon catching eyes with those that elatedly studied the pages she averted his gaze completely, and decided to focus, instead, on her feet. It was hard to describe the excitement of it- waiting for what seemed like the answer to all of her current musings on what to do with life. Though it seemed hard for him to discuss, Shizuka knew in the back of her mind that Pegasus Crawford was, indeed, a painter, and a damn good one at that. If he saw any potential in her hobby, maybe then it would _mean_ something, could even _be _something.

Not even Jonouchi was aware of her passion for visual arts, and she didn't feel any guilt in that respect. She had always been a writer, first and foremost a lover or words and all their shadings and complexities. It was only when she found journalism to be so restricting that she began to vent her creative frustrations in shaky lines of pencil and sloppy splotches of water color. Drawing, painting, sketching… all these things were only meant to be hobbies, she had no real desire, or motivation, to make a career out of them. No, Shizkua Kawaii wanted to be a writer above all else, drawing was just her way of escaping reality, of objectifying herself and her mistakes in order to rise above them until she had more freedom to start working on side stories or novels of her own. She was going to be recognized for her writing some day, she was sure, but she wouldn't find that recognition in journalism, that was just her means of financial security, for journalism was so factual, straight-forward…played out…that she'd never standout amidst her co-workers. Drawing, painting, and photography were just vessels for all of her sparked inspirations along the way to literary greatness. She'd capture them with her eyes, and then, when time permitted, with her entire being.

"I must say I'm astounded." Pegasus's voice rang out within her scattered thoughts. For a moment she picked her head up and contemplated looking at him. "Looking at you I'd have never guessed, and that is quite the feat, Ms. Kawaii."

Her eyes tentatively met his, and she smiled weakly at the thought of his pity, but the gesture faltered in the face of his expression. It was so serious and foreign to his features. If this was leading to some sort of compliment, he meant it.

"These sketches are incredible." He declared in tones still laced mildly with shock. "And that is not flattery." He assured upon locking eyes with her.

"Thank you." It was almost a whisper.

"Tell me," he continued. "Do you always finish one before moving on to another?"

"Drawing, you mean?" She inquired. He nodded to clarify. "Well, sometimes." She replied with a bit of a nervous smile.

"You see, the depth of your drawings suggests that you begin when you're frustrated, angry, or otherwise upset, and then perhaps stop for a while once you've released all of your frustrations on to paper. When you pick back up again you're burnt out and don't paint so much for intensity as contentment, capturing the essence of your subject rather than your emotions, and it's very effective. Like personifying the material."

She stared at him for a long moment; his ability to read her through just a few sketches was almost frightening. "Forgive me." He gently added upon seeing her reaction. "Such premature assumption is so rude; I really do have to get a handle on that."

She smiled warmly at him, "No," she replied. "It's fine, really, you just took me by surprise."

He laughed a bit at her quick recovery. She really didn't have the heart to think the worst of anyone; it was almost endearing. He shook his head at the thought: _what am I doing? This was just supposed to be an interview…why is it I'm discussing her hobbies with her? If she weren't connected to little Yugi would I really be all right with her staying here so long? Chivalry is one thing but perhaps this has gotten out of hand. _For a moment he envisioned Cyndia, and pursed his lips tightly in reflection. It was not his job nor obligation to protect Shizuka, to shelter her just because her parents did not, and yet…

Shizuka slowly slid the sketchbook from his hand, holding it once again to her chest as the man in front of her brought himself back to reality. As his eyes fell upon the partially torn cover she so gingerly gasped, she smiled at him; and he thought, for half a moment, about embracing her.

"Ya know." She said, a bit more confidently than normal, "Before we talked like this I was afraid to spend Christmas by myself, kind of like everything I was looking forward to was missing from the holiday. Now I feel like I might be better off by myself more, holiday or not. I mean all day, everyday people expect something from me back in Japan, my parents, co-workers, boss, and even my brother wants to see me do well…even though our idea of "well" doesn't exactly coincide. I feel like I never get to live for myself or be myself, what if I can't because I'm never alone? Never really alone, I mean-"

"Ms Kawaii." Pegasus cut in with a small smile, "I believe you're over thinking this." He put in softly. "I'd guess about now you're getting to the part about your drawings only being done in your alone time, and being the only true reflections of yourself that you have because they're the only things you really do alone, of your own free will." He continued, "While it's not an uncommon thought, it is a wrong one. Its true that you shouldn't let the pressures of everyday life compromise you as a person, but you also need to find a balance between alone time, and time for work, school, and friends. Its going to be tough, but you're already getting there. Take the holiday to do whatever you want with it; don't let someone else make the decision."

"I understand where you're coming from but every time I'm by myself and I'm not busy with something its like the walls are closing in-is it really even possible to find a balance? I mean I want to go to school, and have money to get my through it, but I don't want to lose track of family and friends, aren't they _just_ as important-"

"Perhaps what you're over thinking are your worries. You currently have a very demanding job-so quit. Make sure you can find a replacement before you give your two weeks notice, but seriously consider going for something that's not as time consuming. You've got a degree to acquire and a life to live, who has time to enjoy college when they're taking on this many responsibilities right out of high school? Flipping burgers or stocking shelves are not below your dignity, everyone has to start somewhere." He interrupted, getting a bit ahead of himself in his attempt to console her while dismissing from his mind previous thoughts of being close with her.

"But if I only have that kind of experience how can I get any real place of employment to take me seriously right out of college? I can't just quit my job…I like it…I like…journalism." His eyes caught hers, and she blushed a bit before looking away, "I don't hate it." She admitted rather meekly.

"That's good." He replied, "But you do hate all of the time you have to devote to it?"

She narrowed her gaze, "I didn't at first, I loved it, and even before I came out here for the interview I was in one of the moods where I was confident in myself as a journalist and comfortable where I was…but…I don't know. I don't really see myself working there anymore. It doesn't seem like place for me, the internet is killing the newspaper industry, and soon journalism will be a go nowhere pathway. When I get to that point I just stop thinking about it."

Pegasus sat down, "Why?" He inquired, and as he expected, she plopped down in a chair beside him.

"Well because, I feel like maybe that's all I'm good at. Maybe that's all I can really do in the real world. And when I get to that point I think about how even my career choice is limiting me and I feel less and less confident in anything."

"You'll never find your calling if you don't just let go and give some things a try. What's holding you back? You came here so confident, are you sure this atmosphere isn't-"

"It's not you." She interrupted firmly, "It's not you at all, but my boss offered me a more permanent job through email after I got the interview. Of course I was excited at first, but the more I think about it the more reasons I find for not wanting to accept. Isn't that so idiotic? I go through all this trouble, put you through all this just to pass up the opportunity. And how arrogant is that? Just assuming I can find something better and giving up-"

"Shizuka." It was the first time he'd called her by her first name without a reminder, "It's your first real job, don't worry about it. You _will_ find something else because you're very talented, with the right education the job market's going to be more than kind to you. You're overworking yourself, really you are. You've got a lot of time in the journalism career already, enough to look good on a job resume, so experiment a little before you commit. Employers look for hard working, reliable people, Shizuka, and getting this interview, even if it was just to quit the paper, shows that you'll do anything to get a job done. That's what people want to see. Everyone had a first job, we all know they don't last forever, you live, learn, and get fed up, that's just life. And for gods sake you _haven't_ caused me any trouble."

"Don't you think that's more than a little optimistic? I wouldn't think much of a person who quit right after they made a huge breakthrough in something." She replied, still disheartened.

"That's true enough, so you wait it out until they find a reason to give your job to someone else, then nothing comes back on you. But the people reading your resume aren't going to look into the specifics of when you quit your job, so they're not going to know, or care, about the time of the interview."

"But won't it just show them that I couldn't handle a heavy workload if they ask me why I quit?"

"That or that you were a normal nineteen year old trying to get through school on an internship that paid you next to nothing." He replied, "I'm not saying you have to quit right away, you're right, that's way too hasty, I'm not even saying you should seriously contemplate quitting. But if you're driving yourself this close to a breakdown, all I want you to know is that its okay to consider it. "

She nodded at him, exhaling deeply, "I can't really talk about any of this with my parents." She spoke up, in tones a bit softer than usual, "My mother wouldn't understand where I was coming from, in fact, if she took time away from her boyfriend to listen, it'd probably be to call me lazy. She laughed bitterly at the thought. "My dad's never been all that ambitious to begin with, so he's probably not the best person to try and explain any of this to either. Its odd saying that and realizing that I apparently think the correct person to talk to is basically a complete stranger and someone who deserves way more respect than that, I'm so-"

"Don't bother apologizing, if I didn't have the time or mind to listen to you, I wouldn't have." He put in before she could finish.

She stared at him for a moment, as if his statement had just then registered in her mind, "Why is it you did make time to listen to me, Mr. Crawford?"

"Because no one else happened to call in the meantime." He smiled, laughing almost immediately after the statement had passed his lips, "I'm only kidding." He assured her softly, "I just didn't want you to feel like you were trapped here to mull over your thoughts until you could find a plane home."

"That's very kind of you." She smiled slightly, "While we're still talking like this, I just really wanted you to know how sorry I am about earlier. I know you keep telling me not to apologize but I feel terrible about it."

"You know." He said, getting to his feet and motioning for her to stand outside with him, "I was a lot like you before I started painting." He continued as a gust of cold wind and snow rushed passed them. "I had a very similar situation within my family, and didn't have many close friends-because sadly enough money does have an effect similar to the ones they show in movies where friends are concerned. But I always had someone to talk to that was neutral, and that made it all okay. It was a little easier to find a reason to get through the days, because it wasn't all about worrying, and waiting, and hoping that you're made for more than wallowing in self-pity. You see what I'm getting at?"

Sketchbook in hand, staring out at the fast white expanse, she nodded; more to it than to him, "Yes, I see what you mean now." She ran her fingers over the edge of the pages, opening her mouth as if to speak, although unable to find the right words.

"Tell you what." He said with a playful smile as he rubbed his arms to fight off the cold, "When you write your book, I'll tell you about them."

"Oh Mr. Crawford, I wouldn't want you to think, I mean its not all that important-"

"For the last time-" he said as he moved down the steps of his deck and into the snow, "Call me Pegasus." He gestured to the white crystals around them; "With all this snow there's no real way to get you home for Christmas anyway." He informed her, "And if you keep addressing me like my father I might just have to hurt you."

She giggled softly and began to make her way to him, slipping on the icy steps, and falling on her hands and knees in the snow. Above her she could hear his laughter, and she felt her cheeks tinge with a pink hue of embarrassment.

"Here." He offered her his hand, and with her damp, cold one, she accepted it, pulling herself less than gracefully to her feet. Without warning he removed his red jacket and placed it on her shoulders. "You'll catch your death before you open a single parcel." He chided as they moved up the stairs.

She laughed, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He said, and she felt herself blushing as she hugged the fabric tighter around herself, taking in the depth of his scent for the first time. "You do realize, however, that if you put something this cliché in your future book, that it will make two things I'd have to hurt you for."

She smiled playfully as she stepped inside, mesmerized by feelings that were not right for her to have for him. She removed his jacket and offered it to him, redwood iris overwhelming her vision. He nodded slightly at her upon taking it, and she almost winced at their closeness, his breath was warm against the cold, red skin of her cheek, and she shivered at the foreign caress. For a moment, she felt bold, but the two turned away, sheepish-and perhaps a shamed. Pegasus quickly excused himself to put on warmer clothes, and Shizuka fled to her room to recount, in words, the moment she was almost brave.

* * *

AN: please excuse the shitty chapter, I hope it wasn't too terrible-I'm actually contemplating re-working it depending on what you guys think. Feedback _**greatly**_ appreciated for his chapter.


	5. Truths

**Chapter 5: Truths**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, nor do I claim rights to any of the affiliated characters.

Warning/Notes: Wow, has it honestly been *years?* I am appalled at myself you guys, I am so sorry for the wait, a huge thank you to anyone who is still with me.

* * *

Somewhere between comfort and vulnerability Shizuka had landed herself in a hopeless situation. With no indication of what the next few moments might hold, she hastily locked the door and pulled dry clothing onto still damp skin. Her hands quieted a stream of breathless laughter, so contrived she could have been sobbing.

As surreal as the last hour seemed to her now, fingers trembling atop computer keys, she realized there was no redemption for what had just happened. She sat down to the sinking weight in her stomach and tried to steady herself. _In just one morning… _she mused, _the __only__ morning, I've ruined this for myself. _

The winter midday left her with more questions than answers. How she was to face Mr. Pegasus Crawford now, and play off such impulsiveness? How had a man twice her age, whom she had called upon for the sake of business, somehow made her feel so careless, and so bold? How had she somehow read feelings into his gestures that she had to know, logically, were not there?

The document in front of her glowed a stark white against the overcast afternoon, and at its beckoning, she attempted her article.

* * *

A glass of wine rested on a small oak end table just out of view from the adjacent window, always present, ever tempting to the man who paced reverently about his room. Every so often he would pause in a brief reflection of composure, and then, just as suddenly, return to pacing.

Every inkling of hesitance he had ignored, every extra second so courteously extended to her company, had led him to this. His trembling hand gripped the edge of the table, struggling against the impulse to steady himself and the compulsion to reach for wine he had avoided these many months. In truth, loneliness had become a constant and devastating force upon the Pharaoh's return to the afterlife, a fragile part of him dying to feel needed by someone - anyone.

He drew a tense breath.

Through a multitude of frenzied emotions, he was functioning on more satire than sanity. Though everything in him had screamed, had _begged _for reprieve of the company he knew better than to depend on, he had not listened. Now, even though so little had happened, the situation was irreversible, and he had left, in it's wake, an emotional young woman struggling to decipher the almost-advances of a man twice her age.

It had been so long since he'd allowed himself to be personal with anyone, to extend conversation outside of business ventures or small talk about the weather. It was hard to fathom feeling connected to another person, especially a young woman who's friends he had harmed as much has he had helped in the past. He straightened a bit, and, out of habit, smoothed non-existent wrinkles on his lavish suit. Chewing anxiously on his bottom lip, he tried to blame isolation for the extent of admiration he had for someone he had known mere hours, but even the idea seemed pathetic to him. Disgustedly, he dismissed it.

Something about Shizuka, in all of her wounded, worrying youth, drew him in and held him captive to feelings he had repressed since the tragic end to his own adolescence. What made this difficult was not only the twinge of betrayal that lingered in any feeling for someone other than Cyndia, but the sheer idiocy of the notion that he and Shizuka Kawai could actually have formed a bond to be this concerned about. After all, the two shared nothing more than a morning of misguided wisdom and apology. He was over thinking this.

A knock came, pulling him out of his thoughts. "Yes?" He opened the door, brow raised, curiosity successfully feigned.

"Mr. Crawford." She forced the words through her dry throat before the tension could swallow them, dissolving her nerve, "I want to throw out the interview." She continued, "I've been foolish to take this much of your time, to ask so much of you, especially before the holiday. I think this was a mistake on my part and I'm sorry I projected that onto you. I just needed to clear my head, and I've done it. I've done it and I think it's better I forget about this whole thing."

"Ms. Kaw-"

"Please don't worry about it." She cut in. "It's not you. None of this was ever about you and I should have realized it sooner. Listen, I'll explain the situation and everyone will understand. You graciously made time for the interview but something came up and you had to cancel. You offered to re-schedule but I didn't want to trouble you. I'll tell them it was me." He held up a hand to stop her quickening speech.

"That will be quite enough." He said firmly. "I don't think anything has happened to be half as upset over." He was convincing himself just as much as he was the redhead in front of him. "I hate to be harsh but in all honesty you've got to stop blaming yourself for things that have absolutely nothing to do with you, and for situations that aren't bothersome or troubling in the first place. Nothing about your interview was unprofessional or slanderous. I think you're making a rash decision because you're feeling unsure of yourself and I apologize for making this stay so hard on you. The blame here is mine if anyone's and it's best we leave it at that."

"Mr. Crawford-"

"Ms. Kawai, it's quite unwise to argue with businessmen, there's seldom any reasoning with them." He assured her, trying to make light of the messy situation.

"I won't take it to print." She countered adamantly.

"Then you've wasted my time and yours." Reasoning with her wouldn't do any good now. Though he hated to play on her guilt, especially as things stood now, he knew it was the only way he might convince her to write the article. There was no reason for her to avoid publishing something this good for her career, as a journalist and as a student.

He braced himself. He expected tears, shamed glances at her feet, at least a shaky word of explanation, but he was met with a smile. "That's not going to work." She said with a wink. "My brother tries it all the time." She met his gaze now, her eyes betraying an otherwise calm reserve, "I just want you to know how grateful I am for the opportunity, you've been such a helpful force in my life and I will honestly never be able to repay you for that. Thank you." She extended her hand for his.

He felt as if he'd been struck. Her movement from obvious guilt and confusion into full-on confidence was thoroughly unexpected. As much as he had just kicked himself for not sending her on her way sooner, and as much as he realized that arguing this could only mean more tension, he didn't want to leave on this note. He _hated_ the idea of Shizuka feeling indebted to him. _Loathed_ the thought of her agonizing over the morning's events and blaming herself for their awkward turn. He would not have it.

"What is this incessant allusion to _owing_ me something? I've told you there'll be none of that. Your brother was an essential part of my meetings with the Pharaoh, he was owed the money for your operation upon little Yugi's victory in the tournament, and there is nothing you, or anyone else close to you could strive to repay. I want that to be very clear."

The note of anger in his voice seemed uncharacteristic of him, for a moment she questioned if it too was a ploy to get her to reconsider her actions, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I'm just grateful, for everything."

"You're welcome."

Silence lingered, what should have resonated finality seemed to leave the two further at odds with themselves and one another. "Will you spend Christmas with your family too?" Because she did not want to say, 'I'm leaving, goodbye.'

"Not likely." He replied with a smile, "Business is as business does after all."

"That must be awfully lonely." She mused, taking half a step back, ready to force herself to turn and flee the room.

"Call me immune to loneliness." A small laugh, then, on his heels as they turned his back to her, "Goodbye, Ms. Kawai."

"You're angry with me." It was a whisper to the back of his head, all boldness had left her, the breath catching in her throat, rooting her body to the floor.

"Of course not." He replied, his tone was sincere and dismissive as she had always known it to be when he was offering her comfort, but he said so as he walked further into his room and away from her. She had not even told him when she would depart, where she would go, or if she'd be home to her family in time for the holiday. She felt hopeless, everything had spiraled out of control. Just minutes ago he had been dismissing what had happened between them, now it seemed he was trying to distance himself from the events as quickly and efficiently as possible.

As desperate as she was not to leave things this way, Shizuka Kawai was not weak, and she would not break down anymore. If she had something to say she knew she needed to do it now and be done. She wondered if Pegasus Crawford was struggling with their goodbye for the same reasons she was, or if he had been toying with her since her arrival to his exclusive abode. To hear it from Seto Kaiba, and even Jonouchi from time to time, Pegasus was a manipulative, calculating man that knew how to twist people and their desires to his every fanciful whim. But she did not have the heart to believe him a monster, because she was young, and because he had been nothing but pleasant to her, but moreover because she was wise.

In this life, people take on so many personas they are but really aren't.

Jonouchi a father.

Shizuka a journalist.

Pegasus Crawford a cynic.

"I want to know you." She said, and as she did so, turned in the opposite direction of where the two once had stood in moments gone by, as one entity seeking the companionship and forgiveness of another. Because misery has always loved company, and because people have always, by nature, flocked to one another in their moments of greatest pain, chasing the faintest inclinations of hope.

"I'm still right here, aren't I?"

Her duffel bag dropped to the floor, her head raised slightly, turning back the direction of her now smiling host, who approached her. Her arms flung around his broad form in graceless eagerness, and, without hesitation, his returned the embrace.

* * *

Further Notes From The Author: I'm sorry that the "romantic" aspect of this story has been so slow and (probably) less than engaging. I feel that with a couple as complicated and as unassociated as Shizuka and Pegasus, the relationship is going to take time, even in an AU. I don't want to lose the integrity of Pegasus's character, especially as a romantic, since what we see of him in the anime seems to constantly reinforce his continuing devotion to Cyndia and disinterest in the idea of a relationship with anyone else. Anyway, feel free to comment, critique, or rant as you see fit.


End file.
